Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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