whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
