The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
