Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Randomize
