Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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