Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
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