nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
