All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
