i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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