You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
