it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
