the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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