the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
