I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
