she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
