You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
