I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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