she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
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