Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I didn't notice because vodka
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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