I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
