ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
