Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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