Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
