I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
