i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
