Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
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