I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
