No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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