i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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