It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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