Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
they call him Oral-B. enough said
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
