I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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