dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize