Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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