Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize