sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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