please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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