Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
