The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
