okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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