i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
