Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Just cropdusted the office
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
My vagina is officially offended.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize