The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
