so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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