Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
You are the jesus of drinking
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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