Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
