you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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