its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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