She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
