he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
im on a boat
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