Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
