Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
