A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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