he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
