first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
