his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I think a kid would responsible me up
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
