i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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