What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
