I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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