i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
